Going gay

Today, celebrating LGBTQ+ Pride in whatever way you see fit is especially important as politicians push against our humanity, making queer and trans children their target. However, researchers have identified six general stages that are often experienced by those who come out as gay. From flirting to sex to relationships, your intuition is your best teacher.

While coming out and talking about being gay to others is a slow process, it generally starts with a close friend or family member. The fact that there was no socially-established script to follow like in heterosexual dating made my head spin. While coming out and talking about being gay to others is a slow process, it generally starts with a close friend or family member. There is something both deeply relatable and incredibly nonsensical about that phrase.

And give yourself permission to change! In other words, coming out is not only a verbal declaration, but an emotional liberation. Coming out as gay or lesbian can be scary, but with some careful planning, you’ll be able to share your true self with the people who care about you! That’s right, these days, you can literally have it all.

Your first queer date, whether that be in high school or your late thirties, can feel daunting. To start, consider whether you feel ready to come out and make sure your safety won't be at risk. What feels good to me? Who makes the first move? There is no one way that all gay individuals experience their journey to self-acceptance and identification. And going gay all that scholarship, I still felt woefully under qualified to call myself a member of the queer community—even less equipped to start dating.

Are you a Shane or an Alice? At the end of the day, the only way to learn is through doing. In other words, coming out is not only a verbal declaration, but an emotional liberation. Also, as much as I hate to say it, there is some rampant biphobia in certain corners of the gay community. At the time I started questioning my sexuality, I was working in the college library shelving books during the evening shift.

Do I actually want this? What am I going gay desiring right now? When we admit to ourselves: 1) what is true of our sexuality and/or gender, 2) what has been true about our internal knowing, and 3) what will be of our lives, we gain the ability to unleash all our potential. I went down internet wormholes. Rejection by this person may cause a backlash to the self-recognition stage of coming out (the coming out stage wherein you recognize you are gay); however, acceptance by this person generally leads to an increase.

This is a time for you to build community. Not having rules is what makes the queer community so, for lack of a better word, queer. (Even children!) But first, you have to simply take the plunge this Pride month: Get in loser, we’re going gay.

Today, celebrating LGBTQ+ Pride in whatever way you see fit is especially important as politicians push against our humanity, making queer and trans children their target. (Even children!) But first, you have to simply take the plunge this Pride month: Get in loser, we’re going gay gay. When we admit to ourselves: 1) what is true of our sexuality and/or gender, 2) what has been true about our internal knowing, and 3) what will be of our lives, we gain the ability to unleash all our potential.

That’s right, these days, you can literally have it all. This is the first of many first dates. If anyone makes you feel ostracized for your past straight relationships or sexual fluidity, just disengage. Most compassionate people will understand and share their own coming-out stories. Are you a top, bottom, switch, vers, femme, butch, futch, chapstick lesbian, pillow princess, stone butch, or power bottom?

You can be a baby gay at 12 or at 55; just know that all of us have been where you are now. Rejection by this person may cause a backlash to the self-recognition stage of coming out (the coming out stage wherein you recognize you are gay); however, acceptance by this person generally leads to an increase. Sometimes—especially with girls—you realize you have more of a friendship chemistry than a sexual dynamic.

If that person is condescending or invalidating, just know that is not a representation of the community at large.